Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
