It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
