If that was your dad, he is hot
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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