All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize