**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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