ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if i can run in heels then i can drive
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
