Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
