your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
