I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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