I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
