She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize