i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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