he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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