I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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