i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
