You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
