I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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