I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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