Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this just has baby written all over it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hippo gnu deer
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
