Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
