If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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