I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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