im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
