Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
