Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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