I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
