I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
