Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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