stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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