when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
