I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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