the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what day is it and did you see me today?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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