Where is the hickey?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
