Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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