And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
