He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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