So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I think i got beer on your cat.
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