I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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