whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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