Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
