And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
