Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
