I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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