Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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