Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
