That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
