On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
