and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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