I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
