i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
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