he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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