hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
