"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the day after is always just damage control
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
