is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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