i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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