pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize