I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
