Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
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dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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