I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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