so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
