remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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