I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
