I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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