real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
