Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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